


can't carry my ghosts

by glitterie



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, The Chop TM, Trans Jack, Validation, everyone's trans, genderqueer lardo, he's not in the story at all but he's trans as fuck, trans lardo, trans shitty, trans!lardo, trans!shitty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 01:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12097287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterie/pseuds/glitterie
Summary: Lardo debates getting the chop.





	can't carry my ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd and unedited. title inspired by sinner's prayer by lady gaga

“I don’t know, bro.” 

The Skype connection is crappy, but Shitty could recognize Lardo’s look of consternation and reluctance from up in space. They were fingering the ends of their hair and scowling. Shitty leaned forward into his laptop’s camera and tapped his nail to draw their attention back to him.

“Hey. Larissa.” They pinked subtly when Shitty said their name. “You’re gonna look baller as fuck if you cut it off. I don’t wanna pressure you or anything, but you’ll probably regret it if you don’t.”

“I know.” They rolled over, propping their tablet on their legs and angling it towards themself. “But I feel like I’ll go right back to being seen as a guy if I cut my hair that short.” They fisted a hand in their hair and tugged angrily. “This sucks.”

“It does suck, brah,” Shitty agreed vehemently. “But you gotta get the chop at some point, Lards.” He mirrored their move and laid down on his side, flipping the laptop at the same time.

Lardo made a face. “Why are you in bed? It’s like,” they checked the time, “barely seven there.”

“Just wanted to make sure I got to talk to you. You’re gonna be super busy your last week, so I wanted to make sure I got to get in one last plea for the chop,” Shitty explained.

“Shits, last week I put my hair in a bun and got called sir all day.”

“Yeah, but that’s, like, Kenya. We’re twenty minutes outside Boston here. We’re the only state that consistently votes blue. People are probably gonna be better here than they are there,” Shitty reasoned.

“I mean, maybe? I don’t wanna count on that, though.” The call was silent for almost a minute, both parties content to sit together. “Hey, Shitty?”

“Yeah?”

“How’d you get people to keep seeing you as a guy when you grew your hair out again?” Lardo asked. They stretched before reaching out to place their laptop on the chair near their bed. “I’m passing out soon, just warning you.”

“Well, it helped a little that I had a mustache and that I had been on testosterone for like five years at that point. Mostly it was just that I was too threatening and authoritative for anyone to give me shit. Plus I have the world’s buffest most angry and loyal trans guy on my side, and he’s their captain. He’s still their captain, Lards, and he’s there for you no matter what you do with your hair,” Shitty told her. “We’ll all support you no matter what.”

“Thanks, Shits,” they whispered softly. “Got your back.”

Shitty held his fist up to his camera. Lardo mimicked him and two best friends bumped fists across seven thousand miles, one ocean, two continents, and four months of being apart. “Got your back,” he muttered.

“Alright, you’re gonna make me cry. And I need to go to bed,” Lardo sniffed, unsubtly wiping their eyes. “If I don’t talk to you, I’ll see you back stateside!”

“Wait!” Shitty yelped. Lardo paused reaching for their tablet and cocked an eyebrow. “You gonna get the chop?”

Lardo smiled, but there was something sad whining behind their eyes. “I don’t think so, Shits. Bye. Love you.” They hung up the call before Shitty could reply. He shot off a quick text, _Love you too_ , before rolling out of bed to go look for a distraction from the thought nagging at the back of his mind.

_/_X_\\_

Lardo dragged their suitcase through the hot airport, lurching to their gate. They flopped down in a seat, leaning their suitcase against the one next to them, and closed their eyes for a moment. 

They were roused by two loud voices giggling across from them. Two women, holding hands, sat down almost directly opposite Lardo. As they watched, one woman leaned down to zip a pocket on a backpack, and when she sat back up, the other met her with a kiss.

They kept watching as the first woman ran her palm over the short stubbly hair on the sides of her girlfriend’s head and smiled into their kiss. Lardo stood abruptly, abandoning their suitcase, and power walked to the nearest bathroom.

Lardo gathered her hair back from her head, fluffing the front so it stood up a little. They tugged the sides flat, turned their head from side to side. Then they whipped to the bathroom door as it creaked open as one of the women from before entered. She couldn’t stop touching her lips and smiling, and Lardo reflexively smiled too, then ducked their head. The woman came to stand beside them at the sink.

“Are you thinking of cutting it?” she asked politely as she began retouching her lipstick. 

“Uh… yeah, I was thinking maybe. What do you think?” Lardo asked on a whim.

The woman looks almost startled as she looks back at Lardo. “I like it. I think it’s super fresh and fun.”

“You don’t think it looks too masculine?” Lardo worried their lip between their teeth as they waited with bated breath for the stranger’s answer.

“I think it looks good on you, and that’s what really matters. What you have now is really… plain, honestly. I think if you wanted it cut, you should do it.” She cast one final glance at Lardo before walking away from the sink.

“I should do it,” Lardo mumbled to themself. They pulled out their phone as they walked back to their seat and texted Shitty. _i’m gonna be an hour or so late to the haus when i get back, sorry bro._

They put their phone into airplane mode and closed their eyes again.

_/_X_\\_

When they got back to the Haus, after seven long months, there was an unfamiliar blond boy standing in the kitchen talking to the oven. They only caught a few seconds before they were in view, and he cut off abruptly.

“Uh, hello! Do you need something, miss… mister… miss…?”

Lardo felt the old discomfort swell angrily inside their chest. But this was their Haus, and they weren’t gonna be pushed around by any social dysphoria. They smiled fleetingly. “Mx. is fine. You seen Shits around?”

“Um, no, I haven’t seen him? But - oh - should I text him? Do you need his number?” the blond boy rambled.

“Nope. He said he’d be around the house today,” Lardo replied.

Before either of them could exchange more pleasantries, Shitty was bearing down on Lardo with something approximating a war cry. He ruffled their hair and mocks them happily before releasing them to hug Jack and meet Bitty.

Bitty and Jack left for the rink and Shitty and Lardo were left standing in the entranceway. “You got the chop,” Shitty whispered almost reverently, reaching out to touch Lardo’s head so carefully they almost thought he thought they were going to spook.

“I got the chop,” they said instead, pushing up into Shitty’s hand in silent invitation.

Shitty pulled them into a tight hug, squeezing fiercely. “You look fucking great. I love you, you beautiful motherfucker.”

“Love you too, bro,” Lardo said into his shoulder.

“So what changed your mind?” Shitty asked, pulling away and holding them at arm’s length to inspect the cut.

Lardo shrugged. “Got some outside influence, I guess.”

“And my bugging you for months didn’t count?” Shitty says with mock indignation.

Lardo doesn’t reply, instead, holding their fist out. Shitty rolls his eyes before bumping theirs with his own, and they simultaneously say, “Got your back.” Shitty and Lardo grin at each other.

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off of personal struggles. obv not the exact same, i'm transmasc nb vs transfem nb. but i want so badly to grow my hair our because i miss dying it so badly, and at the same time im suffering under the weight of a curvy body and other ultra fem features, so i guess i'll die!!! lmao im chillin tho  
> also, this is my personal headcanon for lardo!!! i hc them as genderqueer, transfem, and sapphic, and they use they/them and she/her pronouns  
> in case it was Too Subtle wow, lardo's hair represents a lot of things, i dont wanna get into them here, but i would love to discuss them at some point!!! so hit me up in the comments OR at my tumblr, skeletonqueer!!!  
> actually, on second thought, i'm gonna write a second fic about lardo's hair, so just.... hold off on that for now!!  
> also, it's my personal opinion that all problems can be solved by lesbians  
> anyway!! if you liked this story, or were in anyway amused by my commentary, leave a kudos/comment!! theyre what i live for damnit


End file.
